Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancé’s daughter is having a baby. Her mother is helping give the shower. My fiancé and his ex have been divorced for 21 years. She was the one who cheated, asked for the divorce and kicked him out. She threatened not to attend her daughter’s wedding because he was bringing me. We have been together nine years now.

I am not invited to the shower because the ex doesn’ It’s not even being held at her home. His daughter likes me but doesn’t want to upset her mom. I think it’s time for the ex to grow up and get a life.